Acceptance

Photo Credit

Last night I went to RogersTV studio, Newmarket for the first taping of the "Yoga Monologues, the stories of 3 ordinary people who have never practised yoga before." (working title) Enter me, stage left.

In November 2012, I responded by email to an article looking for people who wanted to get healthy trying hot yoga. I knew as soon as I read it, that if I did not respond immediately, I would lose my nerve. I had been experimenting with different fitness classes before I started my Blog and I knew this had potential to be a great experience for my life.

Cindy from Ananda Hot Yoga Bradford interviewed me. It may sound weird, but I purposely went with wet hair (I had just finished a sweaty  work-out) and wore no make-up, in an attempt to be my raw self.

I wanted to be as honest about my self and my body and my personality, for this is becoming my healthy way to live. Also, I somehow convinced myself it might help Cindy determine if I was a good fit for her show. (Wet Hair??)

Wednesday morning, though I was eager and excited about the 5 pm taping, I was NERVOUS. The internal pressure I was feeling was a bit much.  Tears.

My husband appeared slightly frustrated (read, I have about 1 minute before I have to leave for work and I have to fix this?) and wholeheartedly supportive (read, a deep look in my eyes, a quick kiss on my forehead and some positive words.)

I recognize this contrast in my personality...

...love of this life of adventure AND fear of it, at the same time..

Later in the afternoon, some thoughts came to mind, "do not worry about this body... and ...fear not, I will hold your hand..." so that helped and so did a physical work-out with my amazing trainer Jasmine at the Leisure Centre, and praying with a friend.

Wednesday night, after answering the first question in the Studio, with the lovely and encouraging Producer, Jennifer, under the uber bright lights, I had this really cool moment:

... the only person who needs to accept all of me, is ME. 

Let the adventure continue, the fear dissipate and the love grow.

thanks for reading,

kelly

I've fallen AND I got up...

Mary-Anne's photo St.John's, Newfoundland

Pond Hockey

I have this notion that athletes are good at most sports.

With that in mind I was out the door to try my new hockey skates. I have never been a star skater. The most skating I did was on the creek near our house, that was lovingly maintained by our neighbour Mr. Wolting. I spent most of my time on that rink in hand-me-down figure skates and occasionally stood in net as the goalie for my brother and his friends.

I fondly remember, "skating parties" at the local Kinsmen Arena in Chatham with school friends. I could skate ok and especially better in a pretty sweater, holding hands with the "crush de jour" of grade school.

So yesterday, on the frozen pond near our home in Bradford, Ontario, Canada, I attempted pond hockey in my 40's, after all, this is "my year of living athletically." 

I wore pink hockey gloves, knee pads on the outside of my jeans and my thickest sweat shirt under my winter coat. I felt bundled beyond comfort. I looked strange but felt only slightly self-conscious. Upon reflection, I think I had illusions of taking off my coat and effortlessly gliding across the ice with my Queen's University sweatshirt on, scoring goal after goal.(sweatshirt compliments of Neil while he was pursing his Masters) 

We played parents against the kids. Caleb and Blake were soundly winning and celebrating just like Nail Yakupove, rookie on Edmonton Oilers.  

Skating on the bumpy ice, while handling a puck, was a challenge. My legs were strong, my cardio was fine, my sense of balance... not so great. After about 15 minutes, I was standing taking a break when I simply fell over. It wasn't pretty. I got up skated around a bit and called it a day.

I have a sore left hip as a special reminder of  Sunday's family outing, taking in the great Canadian tradition of Pond Hockey.

This emerging athlete is going to need more than one winter to excel at Pond Hockey.

Inspiration...

(the Happiness Project, google images)

Inspiration... it comes in many forms and the inspiration for my Blog came as a thought while I was reading the delightful book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. www.happiness-project.com

After cleaning my closets (4 bedrooms, one front hall and one big jammed packed linen closet) and a multitude of other activities that were satisfying to me; I found myself repeating Gretchen's humorous story of how she thought she was really unique with her book, only to find out she was categorized in "stunt" genre. I loved it. I loved her telling of this story. Something about that part of her story resonated with me. She tells it much better than I do briefly here.

Later, in the fall, as I was experimenting with my time, I was constantly thinking and talking about what I liked and didn't like about how I was spending my time. I was having the most fun doing an analysis of my fitness activities.

How to Find And Do Work You Love, Scott Dinsmore

Then, I happened to watch Scott Dinsmore... one thing stuck for me (although there is lots of good stuff in his talk) that gave me permission to maybe start a Blog.

I found myself saying, something like Scott said, "if I lived in California, I would be Blogging and so would all my friends. This desire to learn and grow in this way as a human being and as a Blogger would be supported by a big circle of friends." Regardless of whether this is true is secondary. I started to declare it.

I shared my Blog idea with my biggest fan/husband and he was supportive. Another friend, Susan, on a walk one day, asked if I was writing down anything I was learning about myself. Good timely question!

Lastly, I was reading a post by Holley Gerth. Click Link to read full post.
http://holleygerth.com/what-if-you-dont-know-what-your-god-sized-dream-is/
She asked, "Will you take a journey, even if you don't know where it is leading?"
A great question and just the final inspiration I needed to take a leap.

So here it is, a Blog for me (and maybe for you) to chronicle my fitness, among other activities and how I feel (enthused, sore, happy, cranky) and what I am learning about life and who I am noticing and connecting with.

Special thanks to Laura at Sweet Handmade http://sweethandmade.blogspot.ca/
for some beginning Blogging lessons. 


  

Tri Club Cycle Class

This morning at 5:30 am, I hit the snooze button to grab a few more minutes of cosy sleep.  

The thing is ...something is changing inside of me.

I wanted to get up and "go spinning," not out of duty, or responsibility or even because I know that it is healthy, but because it brings me pleasure, even though it's a bit of work.

After a quick change into pre laid out work out clothes, I headed downstairs for my favourite meal of the day.  It tastes great, nourishes me and gives me staying power for the work-out and beyond. I have plain yogurt, a scoop of fresh fruit, ground flax seeds and 1/4 cup of Jordan's brand granola followed by a big glass of water.

I felt so great during and after class today. I have been at this exercise thing pretty consistently since the fall and I am learning greater self care and patience with myself and that some days are better than others.

And isn't life like that? Some days are Better than others. And the converse is also true, some days are terrible, but that's another post for another day. 

I know this, I was hydrated, rested and at peace with those I am relationship with, yet something internal is also happening.

While I struggle with precise understanding of all that is changing inside of me, I am simply grateful that I responded to the desire to leave my cosy bed and have one of those Better days.

Committed to the Journey of Fitness

I'm wrestling with the fact that the shape of my body is slowly changing over time, all this exercise is a commitment to health. My “success” is not like the finale to the television show, The Biggest Loser. http://www.nbc.com/the-biggest-loser/ I am on a journey and I am living in such a way to be healthy: body, mind and soul. Success for me is about committing to the journey and honouring and respecting myself along the way, to see my body for what it truly is, amazing, beautiful and becoming more and less of what it is intended to be, a vehicle of life that carries me and gives me breath to live, to truly live abundantly.